dj lurns on the 1s and 2s


A collection of 5 tales from mythology.

APOLLO AND DAPHNE: A tale from Greek mythology about the almighty god, Apollo and the wood nymph, Daphne. A river god by the name of Peneus, who also happens to be Daphne's father, keeps urging his daughter to settle down with a guy and make some grandbabies. Daphne has no intention of doing so and wants to spend the rest of her days frolicking around in the forest.

Meanwhile, the resident douchebag Apollo is bragging to Cupid about all of his mad skills and basically how he should just give up. Cupid takes this as a challenge and shoots Apollo with his bow and arrow. The first being Apollo sees is Daphne, who finds him repulsive and tries to stave off his advances. They reach the river and she calls on her father for help. Peneus decides to help her by turning her into a tree, since she won't churn out any babies anyway.

Heartbroken, Apollo takes some leaves from her branches. He fashions them into a laurel, which is one of his signature symbols.

AKO MANTO: A demon from Japanese folklore who resides in the girls' bathroom. He hides in the last stall and waits for women to come in, sit down, and realize there's no toilet paper. Luckily, he is there to help! He offers red paper, which results in the victim being skinned alive, or blue paper, where he chokes you out or drains you of your blood. Asking for a different colored paper gets you sent to the underworld. The only correct answer is no paper.

This story also features the demon Akaname. He licks the bathroom clean while you sleep.

PECOS BILL: A piece of American fakelore thought up by Edward J. O'Reilly. His tale takes place during Western Expansion. There isn't so much a whole story as there are weird little facts about his life, not pictured are:

Alternate ending: other stories say he died from eating a bowl of nails and acid.

EXTRA: What she order? Fish Filet. Kanye doesn't question Ariel's choices. (song ref)

EXTRA: Robin Hood meets the other Li(tt)l(e) Jo(h)n

THOR VERSUS THRYM: This story from Norse mythology details Thor retrieving his hammer from Thrym, king of giants. The only way he'll return it is if they hand over Freja to marry him. Loki comes up with the great idea of Thor crossdressing as Freja. They travel back to the land of Jotunheim to have the wedding, and though it looks a little shaky at first, the gods manage to pull it off.

TEKE TEKE: A short tale from Japan about a girl who met her fate one day crossing the train tracks. She was hit by an oncoming train and torn in half. A specific story details a boy who sees a pretty girl in a window and is mesmerized by her beauty. Once Teke Teke has her victim distracted, she lunges out the window and cuts the boy in half with her scythe. She is said to do this to her victims so they'll be just like her.